There are 3 places for people in my life: 1) in my path, 2) by my side, 3) out of my way. Where do you fit?
We know you're stupid, you don't need to open your mouth and prove it.
Wisdom from bugs bunny:
"i like dead end signs, i think they're kind.. They atleast have d decency to let u know ur going nowhere"
Elevator door doesn't open immediately. Sudden reaction: "TRAPPED FOREVER". Facebook says we're friends but I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face. "You look tired" - Thanks for kindly saying I look like crap. When Tommy from the Rugrats takes out his screwdriver, you know shits about to go down!! The awkward moment when Chris Brown reaches back to scratch his head and everybody in the room flinches. I hate when there's sound playing from somewhere on my computer and I can't figure out where it's coming from! You'd be in great shape if you ran like your mouth does. No I will NOT "walk calmly" OUT OF A BURNING BUILDING!! When I was younger: "Fuck napping!".. Now: "Interrupt my sleep & I'll chop your hand off." I remember when I was a kid I went on the computer just to use paint. Dear Teacher, Lick your finger OR touch my paper but NOT both. Sincerely, Every Student When I call my parents, and they don't answer it's no big deal but when they call me and i dont answer its like world war III Dear parents. Saying; "BECAUSE I'M THE PARENT!" Really isn't a logical explanation.. I hate when I get home and look in the mirror saying "Is that what I looked like all day?! When I'm in school, I wanna be on vacation. When I'm on a vacation, I wanna go back to school. Why does it have to be so complicated! I wonder if kids from China push the corners of their eyes in saying "Haha look I'm American!" "Stalking" is such a strong word, I prefer "intense research of an individual" Does anyone else get excited when someone you never talk to on facebook likes your status? I hate it when these 10 or 11 year olds post on there descriptions "single :[" like seriously, you're 10... you should be single. If they gave out awards for laziness, I would send somebody to accept it for me. I wrote my heart out on that long ass text & your gunna give me short answers? The fuck? Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have hours to sleep. A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool. I have always wanted to get in a cab and say ”FOLLOW THAT CAR!!” "Hey mom" "WHAT?!" "Nevermind your in a bad mood..." HOT SURFACE , DO NOT TOUCH! “Hmmmm, I wonder how hot is hot ...AHHH!!" I hate when people tell you to calm down, when you're not even mad. I die a little inside when I wake up and realize it's Monday... I've finally looked at the future & stop looking at all my past & regretting stuff. Shit happens for a reason. Learn & MOVE ON. "Tweeting" is so much more fun to say than "Updating my Facebook Status"... -_- My ex? Yeah, I'd still hit that. Only this time, it'd be with a car or a baseball bat... TWERKING = 98% of Tweeting + 2% of Working That awkward moment When you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you. 0__o Top 2 Lies - 1: I'm fine. 2: I don't like anyone. Oh really? Your gonna fight me over the internet? What's the worse you can do, caps lock my ass There's a killer in our house!!! Normal people: "SHIT! Call the police!!! Let's get outta here!" In a movie: "Lets go find him!" -_- I hate the saying "live like you're dying." If we did, we'd all be in jail, dead, and broke. Hate to break it to you Mom, But my friends don't care if my room is messy, they care whether or not there's food. I've applied to work in a mirror shop. I hope I get it. I can really see myself working there. Me: How do you spell HIV? Friend: H.I.V Me: Are you positive? Friend: Yes .... wait no.. fuck. Ciara "like a boy". Beyonce "If I were a boy". Rihanna "rude boy". What's next lady GaGa "I am a boy". Just got done swimming, chilling on the patio, such an amazing view. Bouta eat some munchies! Me: "Dad I want to go to a 50 cent concert." Dad: "Here is one dollar, take your sister to. Im gunna bring a fishing rod to seaworld & look at these peoples face expression. This is a "A" and "B" conversation so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"s you up like a "G" Tried to donate blood today. I didn't realize you had to give your own. The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service. That one class where you sit there thinking, when will I ever use this in my life? I miss your call by 3 seconds, I call you back and you dont answer. "The fuck?" "I'm not mad at you." Translation - "Yes I'm mad at you. You can go fuck yourself". It's amazing how 3 words can change your day: I love you - we are done - i hate you - twitter over capacity. The BEST way to make people remember you? Borrow money from them. I wish there was a time machine sooo bad. Theres tons of shit I wouldn't of have done :[ Yes, we're friends on facebook. No, that doesnt mean I consider you an actual friend. Everywhere I go, they taken pictures. Omg dude I got purp in tha swisha. Reading someone's status and thinking "oh shut the hell up". The nervous feeling you get when you press the send button on a risky text. People should scream "PIKAAAAA!" right before sneezing! Its sad how MTV went from My Super Sweet 16 to, 16 And Pregnant. Dear food commercials, Nobody eats food in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people. An ex should stay an EX. They're an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better! I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?" I don't hate you, I never could. I don't regret meeting you, I never will. But I do regret our relationship. It destroyed our friendship. Girl: I want you to whisper dirty things into my ear ;] Boy: Kitchen, Bathroom, Living Room...
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