Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!
Peter Klaven: I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the Realtor.
Sydney Fife: Hey check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
Peter Klaven: He does seem to be clenching.
Sydney Fife: Watch the leg... Boom!
Peter Klaven: He farted in my open house.
Sydney Fife: He sure did.
Doug: Hi Peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.
Peter Klaven: So what do i do? How do i make friends?
Robbie Klaven: If you see a cool looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter Klaven: Ok.
Robbie Klaven: You know what i mean?
Peter Klaven: No.
Robbie Klaven: Casual lunch or after work drinks. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter Klaven: Ohhhh god i love that movie. No I wont.
Denise: Oh my God, Hailey, why must everything always be about you?
Hailey: Because I'm single.
Sydney Fife: Peter, I am a man. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins.
Doug: I just wish I could take back that kiss...
Sydney Fife: Woah!
[Looks at Peter]
Doug: ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal... you fucking whore!
[Storms off]
Peter Klaven: [to Sydney] I can actually explain that.
Sydney Fife: I would looove to hear that!
Sydney Fife: Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest, kind and fun-loving people I've ever had the honor of knowing. The Pistol is a pleasure giver that's for sure. So beautiful Zooey, give it back. Yeah?
[winks]
Sydney Fife: Return the favor. And if you do, I guarantee that you will have a beautiful and pleasure filled union.
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