Bitchy Quotes

Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."-

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. 
I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you"
"We are all going to hell, and I am driving the bus"

"You shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think."

"The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones never go away."

"I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy".

We crush the caterpillars then complain there are no butterflies 
I'm not a tease, Im just a reminder of what you can't have

**If it doesn't fit force it, if it breaks it needed replaced anyway*

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."

"I don't want to achieve immortality thru my work. I want to achieve immortality thru not dying" 
Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks

Don't give other people a piece of your mind unless you can afford it.

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move bodies."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"Lies circle the earth while Truth is still trying to put on its shoes."

I wanna be different just like everyone else

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt

I believe that imagination is more important than knowledge.

You can't argue with a sick mind

You're only young once, but you can be immature the rest of your life

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

Every piece of paper has two good sides... Unless you use magic marker then you're fucked

When faced with a difficult task, pass it on to a lazy person and she'll figure out an easier way to accomplish it.

"Dont underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers" 
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in the next cell saying "that was fucking awesome

What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

"Butchs are like roses, watch out for the pricks...

Stoners live and stoners die, and at the end they all get high, then soon the don't succeed, FUCK IT ALL LETS SMOKE SOME WEED!

*Fighting for peace is like f***in for virginity*

It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me.

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again


A wise monkey never monkies w/ another monkey's monkey!

***Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege***

Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!

Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!

*They say true love hides behind every Corner...I must be walking in Circles! *

Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!

I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I am not a player...I'm the game

I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!