anndito na ako

Andito na ako.. di mo pa dama...
Malapit na ko.. sa iba nakatutok ang yung mata..
Sinamahan mo nga ako... nasa iba ang isip mo..
Para bang lumayo ka pero sinisilip mo..
Kelangan pa ba kitang layuan...
Para ako'y iyong maramdaman...
Kelangan pa bang dumistansiya..
Para malaman mong hindi siya?
Sana... yan ang dasal...
Marahil isang pagpapakahangal..
Isang buntong hininga, bago ako lumapit...
Isang malaking ngiti ang aking pinilit...
-
November 26, 2015
Macapagal ave

Jack and Jill

Come Jill.. to the world of sin...
Yes jack to the world unseen…

Together we climb the mountain top

And let’s fill up what’s lacked

Come Jill let’s make new mistakes

Yes jack… whatever it takes…

You’re not my rose.. But when you jump, ill jump remember?

Its crystal clear jack… we will do this together...

Where to now my heart?

I don’t care as long as we are not apart...

Let’s leave this place... I don’t know where to…

Its ok, I don’t care... as long as I’m with you…

Hey Jill we’re like bonnie and Clyde

So are you telling me you’re tired?

No my heart, I will stand still… with you I am strong

I hope I won’t be weak if something goes wrong

I’m stumbling… I’m stumbling my love… its getting tougher…

I’m tired Jack… I’m tired… things are getting rougher…

Please hold on.. Come run after me.. It’s not always easy…

I don’t know jack… I don’t want to be sleazy…

Come run after me… come jill… just a little bit more…

I have no answer jack… im getting sore…

I understand… just take a rest.. I will wait for you…

*silence*

I’ll wait my love… I’ll wait.. or let me come to you…

___

09.18.2015

TOTGA

I was drunk and cried myself to sleep...
But that didnt... still... gave me the peaceful and deep slumber that i am wanting..
I smoked like a chimney..
With every puff that i take and every breath i released is as much as hurt inside me...
Rapid and incessantly...
I went to sleep.. woke up... but still wanting you...
My heart cries for you...
Yearning for you..
In silent...
In the dark...
I want you back...
Please let me have you back...
Its kinda pathetic really...
And then i realized...
I can still love you... without me telling you..
Or the whole world...
But right now.. i just want to sleep...
A lot of it...
Ive never given much of a choice in this matter.
I have to act normal... like nothing happened.
Just last week i was offered by my mom to go home and manage an offer that was hard to resist. I thought about it...
I was with her when mom called...
I was staring at her..
And everytime i stare at her theres a thought in my head that saying "i wanna be with her... she is the girl that i love"
I said its a good start...
I was about to do the biggest decision in my life... i did not tell cos i want to do it when its all done..
Cos words for me are sacred...
The situation is unsure but my feelings arent...
Finally.... i have her....
Finally... she made me live again...
But suddenly... we broke up...
And i know.. as long as im loving her...
As long as i have this feeling for her...
I know i will sleep and wake up and live everyday wanting her...
needing her...
missing her...
Loving her...
It hurts... hurts a lot..
Cos i know no matter what i do... none of my gestures will bring her back to me...
I will always love you pretty girl...
And i can say... like the song... you are my "the one that got away"...
__
09.18.2015

THE SURPRISE

So the girlfriend didnt texted me... or should i say,,, been cold for a few days (bago mag 22)...

Givin' me a hints like "mag-uusap tayo pagpunta mo dito"... 

I even asked, is this good or bad? ( alam niyo na... when a girl said LETS TALK, kabahan ka na.).

She told me, "depende sa magiging dating sayo".

Friday night (21), i took the bus going to  fairview with a boquet of flowers... 

We we're texting along the way.. no i love yous and sweet nothings.

and said , "mag-usap na lang tayo pag lasing na sila" (her housemates).

i told her, text na lang niya ko pag lasing na sila, cos ill just be chillin at SM.

She then told me, punta na ko cos she misses me (eh di kinilig naman ako).. and the truth is, i miss her too.

When we i got there, they were all sleeping and didnt have the courage to give the flowers just yet (iniwan ko sa porch or something).

then they woke up, no kiss,... no hug.. no smile...

i played it cool... nag-antay ng oras kung kelan niya ko kakausapin...

then nag-inom... (and i got tipsy easily)..

while we were drinking, patugtog ba naman siya ng songs like "i love you goodbye", "before i let you go" and the likes..

ubos ang isang set, they were waiting for someone na magpapainom. eh since its kinda awkward not doing anything, sabi ko sakin na isang set. Kami ng bestfriend niya nag bumili.

And the bestfriend is telling me things like, "wala pa ding magbabago ha?" ... "friends pa din tayo ha".. and told her, oo naman... but my mind wasnt there really... gusto ko na lang masolo at makausap si girlfriend.

tuloy  ang inuman... then dumating na si lui (yung inaantay nila)...

then the girlfriend went upstairs...

after a while, tinawag ako, in her .. i dunno if pagalit voice.... 

at the stairs going to 2nd floor, i saw lights going to 3rd floor/rooftop... (paliko so you gonna wonder where the lights are coming from)

she then smiled... and the gesture of her hand told me to continue,..

i was speechless...

and surprised...

each steps of the stairs, was candlelit in both ends...

puno ng scattered petal of white flowers...

and lil notes ng spelled I LOVE YOU, which i have to pick up as i step up...

and those notes, got quotes by the way, few of her favorites maybe. :)

pagtapak ko ng 3rd floor, napamura na lang ako sa isip ko (DAMN!).. haha

nakaset up anng table with wine on the top of it, and wine glass..  scattered flowers everywhere, dim lighted venue, pink curtains and ceiling, floating candles.and love songs as our background...

and oo nga pala, sa table, may personalized card for me, which made by her of course... and a letter... :)

sa sarili ko, chick ba ko ngayon? hahaha

i stared at her with the sweetest smile on my face.... 

wala lang, i smelled the surprise, but i wasnt sure kung ano... 

 when her song for me played, i just dunno what to react.. haha.

Kaya bago pa ko maging chick ng tuluyan, tumayo ako, went to her, kissed her, i said thank you and i love you... and hugged her... :)

that night was so kilig *pa'chick voice*

so there...

im keeping the video and the pictures..

ill upload it soon... mga next year. haha

____

Thank you girlfriend

I love love you.... :*

____

love, waidee

it's you... its always been you...

sue and chivaz seems to be the perfect lover.. sweet as a candy, strong as a pyramid ika nga..
they've been together for almost four years.they started as a long distance lover.
they have met because of sue's friend maribel na kaibigan din ni chivaz.
sue owns a small clothing business in pasay while chivaz is a pediatrician in a small town in quezon  province.
they seldom see each  other but when they do, they are inseparable. Isang bagay lang naman ang pinag-aawayan nila, chivaz is so uptight habang si sue, she wants freedom to do what she wants.
The typical boy who lives in the province, and the liberated girl that she loves.

"haynaku! hinala na naman!" sambit ni Sue sa kaibigang si Maribel.
"who?" said maribel
."si chivaz...  di kasi ako nakapagreply agad. pag di talaga to tumigil ng kakahinala, its better maghiwalay na kami. Nakakapagod din" Sue replied.
tumawa lang si maribel. Sanay na siya sa dalawa.
Maya-maya, she told Sue, "alam mo, masiyado ka lang niyang sigurong mahal... takot siyang mawala sayo haha."

"Sinasama ko nga siya sa mga lakad ko para wala siyang masabi." pagsusumbong na sabi ni sue.


"Sue, i know your boyriend.. Hindi siya sanay sa lifestyle mo. To him, it's like just wasting time! hahaha" Maribel told Sue.
"But Bel, it's not a wasted time if I am enjoying. Specialy sana kung kasama ko siyang nag-eenjoy.
and sue added "I love him Bel... But I can't live like this. I've reached out. Di naman niya ko pwedeng ilayo sa mga kaibigan ko."


It's always been like that for chivaz and Sue. But what is a relationship without some quarrels right?


The day came when sue finaly decided to take some time off.
They met in a coffee shop near Sue's botique.
"why Sue?" kunot noong tanong ni Chivaz sa girlfriend niya. Makikita mo sa mukha niya ang disappointment and disagreement sa sinabi ni Sue.
 "Ayoko na ng ganito. Nasasakal na ko. Let's take a break.", she answered
"What if I don't want to?" chivaz asked.
"then give me freedom to do what I want" Sue replied..
"no sue, its cool off or let's call it off. mamili ka", Chivaz demanded
"I'm sorry chivaz, take it or leave it" Sue said firmly.

Chivaz was so mad that he left Sue at the coffee shop. For him, ang hinihingi ng girlfriend niya ay para na ring magbreak sila.
Pinagbabawalan lang naman ang girlfriend niya because he grew up in a conservative family plus the fact na hindi naman siya nasanay sa ganung lifestyle.
He loves her girlfriend so much and he is aware of the other guys na nagpaparamdam at nagpapalipad hangin kay Sue.

Days passed.. naging weeks.. And no word from each other,.
Ginugol ni chivaz ang oras niya sa trabaho. But still waiting for  her girlfriend to call her.
Si Sue naman, she misses Chivaz but this is what she wanted.

Until Milton became close to her. Milton had feelings for Sue.
They became close. And Sue is really enjoying his company. They share some common interest.
Milton then asked Sue to be her girlfriend. Sue hesitated.
Kahit naman ganun ang situaton nila ni chivaz, inaantay pa rin niya ito.
Two months has passed and still no word from chivaz.
Sue had some sleepless nights.

Is  it time for her to move on?
She thought of it a million times and the day came, she decided t make milton his boyfriend.

Their friends was shocked ofcourse..

Chivaz heard the news and confronted sue. The conversation didnt went well.

The moments she had with milton was enough to make her happy, but deep inside, not enough to forget Chivaz.

As any relationship would be, masaya talaga sa umpisa. The real test there, pag tumagal na.
She thought Milton would be different. But who was she kidding?
Milton was really jealous with Chivaz. It's not easy to erase the memories she had with him.
Sapat na si chivaz ang dahilan ng pag-aaway nila.

And those nights that Sue would feel alone, she would call Chivaz.
As much as chivaz want to comfort the girl of her life, di pa rin mawala sa isip niya na iniwan siya.
Madalas nauuwi sa away ang mga pag-uusap nila.

So Sue continued her relationship with Milton.
she tried.. She tried as much as she can.
But we can't teach the heart to think if its nature is to love.

She broke up with Milton...

She went to quezon... To chivaz....

He was surprised... Kunot noo pa rin siya while staring at Sue na di makapagsalita.
Sue broke her silence and said "I miss you... "
Chivaz smiled sarcasticaly and asked, "Nag-away kayo ng boyfriend mo?"
"chivaz please.. hear me out", begged sue.

"Look Sue, I am not your spare tire"

"Chivaz, wala na kami... Ikaw ang mahal ko.."

"wala na kayo? so ako naman?", chivaz asked furiously

"may mahal ka na bang iba? Am I too late?" She then hugged Chivaz as tears raced down from her eyes.

His heart melted. Eto ang weakness niya.. ang makita niyang umiiyak si sue. and its undeniable. Mahal na mahal pa rin niya si Sue.
"No Sue, it's still you..."

Sue looked up to Chivaz and told him. "Be mine again Chivz... cos I am yours.. always been yours.. Hindi dahil wala na kami, ikaw na ulit.. Hindi ganun... Wala na kami, kasi ikaw lang.. ikaw lang talaga... Make me yours again Chivz, cos to me, it's always been you."

Chivaz looked back at her... He can see the sincerity. Yes, she's mad at this woman for leaving her.
His ego was hurt when there was another guy involved, but she cant deny the fact that she really love her.
His pride or his love? He didn't hesitated and hugged  Sue. "I love you Sue... We will never start again... cos for me, it never stopped,,,"

Sue's heart was filled with happiness she hugged and kissed chivaz like it was their first and last.


______
NO END


______


may.21.2014
vhonskall


*fiction only
walang pinagbasehan
(charot!)
_____
xxi

i know... i see...

i know...
you're unreachable...
but i can't help it...

i see...
you're beautiful..
and you know it...

your songs give me feelings i never felt before...
its like wind that makes me soar...
your soundcloud account is where my playlist at...
your picture on my wallpaper makes my phone look hot...

your name on my newsfeed makes my day...
i read your status, whatever you might say...
i guess you love pizza, i wish i got enough dough...
i got this huge crush on you, and i cant take it low...

everybody wants you,, that i know...
we're exactly opposite, that i see...
in my head, i hear your silent 'no'...
but i just want these words to be free...

i know....
im not your type i'm far from it..
and its just a crush...

i see ize sy,
you give me hype, you should know it..
you give me that rush...

~vhonskall


para kay crush ize sy