the dukes of hazzard (2005) movie quotes

Prisoner #1: Whoo, P! If you pop a feather in that hat maybe your man-hoe's would show you a little bit more respect, huzzah!
Boss Hogg: I have $100 here for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
Prisoner #2: [punches Prisoner #1 in the face]

Daisy Duke: I think something bounced up in my undercarriage.

Bo Duke: [Bo and Luke are mad at each other, this is before they drive the general lee up the incline of a freeway bridge] Have you made your peace with God yet luke, Because you're about to meet your maker!

Royce: Are you really Japanese?
Luke Duke: Dammit, we are high-powered Japanese executives. We work hard and we play even harder. Now tell us what you see there or we'll find ourselves another candidate over at Georgia Polytech.

Sheev: [Bo, luke, and Sheev are about to blow open a safe, but the fuse goes out] Hmm, must be a wet fuse.
Bo Duke: Maybe its backwards.
Sheev: Of course its supposed to be backwards it's a Chinese fuse.
Bo Duke: No, I mean its backwards from the way it's supposed to be.
Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once.
Sheev: Yea, well you don't blow up Mu Shu Pork my friend
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Dil Driscoll: [after daisy beats up Dil for sweet talking her] So uh Bo, what's the story on that little pistol over there?
Bo Duke: Well, actually she's my cousin.
Dil Driscoll: You hittn' that?
Bo Duke: She's my cousin.
Dil Driscoll: Hopefully your kissing cousin.
Bo Duke: Excuse me?
Dil Driscoll: Son,i guess all I'm asking is, if you shuck her corn.
The Balladeer: [while bo laughs with them and takes a drink, the balladeer speaks] Now there's some things you don't say to a Duke, about another Duke.
Bo Duke: [Bo finishes his drink] I'll shuck your corn!
[this is when the bar fight begins]

Bo Duke: [while driving General Lee in a roundabout] What's the purpose of this circle?

Luke Duke: Were you wearing an armadillo helmet when you said it?
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Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once
Sheev: Yea, well you don't blow up Mu Shu Pork my friend.
Bo Duke: I dated a Koren girl in high school.
Sheev: That is an entirely different Oriental nation. Get an education.
Bo Duke: You're the one who got the fuse wrong.
Sheev: You know nothing about Chyno Syno American relations.

[Enters room full of naked girls]
Bo Duke: Fuck me running!
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Bo Duke: [during car chase in Atlanta] Okay where's the highway?
Katie Johnson: I don't know don't you have a map?
Luke Duke: Wait!
[Luke pulls out a ma]
Luke Duke: i got it... Turn left up here. Tur left. turn left!
[Bo turns right]
Luke Duke: Dammit! I said left!
Bo Duke: I thought you said your left!
Luke Duke: My left is your left!
Bo Duke: I'm going to need these directions faster alright!
Luke Duke: It's okay. I know exactly where wer'e at
[Map flies out the window]
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Mr. Pullman: Hey, Bo.
Bo Duke: Jesus Christ! Oh, hey, Mr. Pullman. I nearly shit myself.
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Pauline: An apple?
Uncle Jesse: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Uncle Jesse: # Just the good ol' boys/Never meanin' no harm/Beats all you never saw/Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born/Straightenin' the curves/Flattenin' the hills/Someday the mountain might get 'em but the law never will/Makin' their way the only way they know how/That's just a little bit more than the law would allow/Just the good ol' boys/Wouldn't change if they could/ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood #

Bo Duke: [makes sure none of the bottles of moonshine broke] Looks like I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
Luke Duke: Ah, c'mon!
Bo Duke: I didn't break any bottles so I won the bet.
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Rosco P. Coltrane: [over CB] I'm in hot pursuit of them Duke boys, and their piece of shit orange car!
Bo Duke: Piece of? - son of a bitch!

Jimmy: Get us closer and I'll shot the son of a bitch!

Rosco P. Coltrane: [over C.B] All units! I'm in hot puruit of the Duke boys, and their piece of shit orange car!
Bo Duke: Piece of?... you son of a bitch!

Uncle Jesse: [Luke and Bo just failed a moonshine delivery] How many Dukes does it take to screw up a moonshine delivery?

Cooter: [from the unrated version] Here, take my truck.
Luke Duke: Well, what if someone needed a tow?
Cooter: well, if I can't "toe" 'em, i'll just finger 'em.

Cooter: [from the edited version] Here, take my truck.
Luke Duke: Well, what if someone needed a tow?
Cooter: I've had 9 tows in 3 years, and you boys have been 8 of 'em!

Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once!

life is like a racetrack. U gotta keep going round &round. Sure, sometimes u crash &burn. But if u dont make d turn, u aint never gonna learn. ~the duke of hazzards