anndito na ako

Andito na ako.. di mo pa dama...
Malapit na ko.. sa iba nakatutok ang yung mata..
Sinamahan mo nga ako... nasa iba ang isip mo..
Para bang lumayo ka pero sinisilip mo..
Kelangan pa ba kitang layuan...
Para ako'y iyong maramdaman...
Kelangan pa bang dumistansiya..
Para malaman mong hindi siya?
Sana... yan ang dasal...
Marahil isang pagpapakahangal..
Isang buntong hininga, bago ako lumapit...
Isang malaking ngiti ang aking pinilit...
-
November 26, 2015
Macapagal ave

Jack and Jill

Come Jill.. to the world of sin...
Yes jack to the world unseen…

Together we climb the mountain top

And let’s fill up what’s lacked

Come Jill let’s make new mistakes

Yes jack… whatever it takes…

You’re not my rose.. But when you jump, ill jump remember?

Its crystal clear jack… we will do this together...

Where to now my heart?

I don’t care as long as we are not apart...

Let’s leave this place... I don’t know where to…

Its ok, I don’t care... as long as I’m with you…

Hey Jill we’re like bonnie and Clyde

So are you telling me you’re tired?

No my heart, I will stand still… with you I am strong

I hope I won’t be weak if something goes wrong

I’m stumbling… I’m stumbling my love… its getting tougher…

I’m tired Jack… I’m tired… things are getting rougher…

Please hold on.. Come run after me.. It’s not always easy…

I don’t know jack… I don’t want to be sleazy…

Come run after me… come jill… just a little bit more…

I have no answer jack… im getting sore…

I understand… just take a rest.. I will wait for you…

*silence*

I’ll wait my love… I’ll wait.. or let me come to you…

___

09.18.2015

TOTGA

I was drunk and cried myself to sleep...
But that didnt... still... gave me the peaceful and deep slumber that i am wanting..
I smoked like a chimney..
With every puff that i take and every breath i released is as much as hurt inside me...
Rapid and incessantly...
I went to sleep.. woke up... but still wanting you...
My heart cries for you...
Yearning for you..
In silent...
In the dark...
I want you back...
Please let me have you back...
Its kinda pathetic really...
And then i realized...
I can still love you... without me telling you..
Or the whole world...
But right now.. i just want to sleep...
A lot of it...
Ive never given much of a choice in this matter.
I have to act normal... like nothing happened.
Just last week i was offered by my mom to go home and manage an offer that was hard to resist. I thought about it...
I was with her when mom called...
I was staring at her..
And everytime i stare at her theres a thought in my head that saying "i wanna be with her... she is the girl that i love"
I said its a good start...
I was about to do the biggest decision in my life... i did not tell cos i want to do it when its all done..
Cos words for me are sacred...
The situation is unsure but my feelings arent...
Finally.... i have her....
Finally... she made me live again...
But suddenly... we broke up...
And i know.. as long as im loving her...
As long as i have this feeling for her...
I know i will sleep and wake up and live everyday wanting her...
needing her...
missing her...
Loving her...
It hurts... hurts a lot..
Cos i know no matter what i do... none of my gestures will bring her back to me...
I will always love you pretty girl...
And i can say... like the song... you are my "the one that got away"...
__
09.18.2015

THE SURPRISE

So the girlfriend didnt texted me... or should i say,,, been cold for a few days (bago mag 22)...

Givin' me a hints like "mag-uusap tayo pagpunta mo dito"... 

I even asked, is this good or bad? ( alam niyo na... when a girl said LETS TALK, kabahan ka na.).

She told me, "depende sa magiging dating sayo".

Friday night (21), i took the bus going to  fairview with a boquet of flowers... 

We we're texting along the way.. no i love yous and sweet nothings.

and said , "mag-usap na lang tayo pag lasing na sila" (her housemates).

i told her, text na lang niya ko pag lasing na sila, cos ill just be chillin at SM.

She then told me, punta na ko cos she misses me (eh di kinilig naman ako).. and the truth is, i miss her too.

When we i got there, they were all sleeping and didnt have the courage to give the flowers just yet (iniwan ko sa porch or something).

then they woke up, no kiss,... no hug.. no smile...

i played it cool... nag-antay ng oras kung kelan niya ko kakausapin...

then nag-inom... (and i got tipsy easily)..

while we were drinking, patugtog ba naman siya ng songs like "i love you goodbye", "before i let you go" and the likes..

ubos ang isang set, they were waiting for someone na magpapainom. eh since its kinda awkward not doing anything, sabi ko sakin na isang set. Kami ng bestfriend niya nag bumili.

And the bestfriend is telling me things like, "wala pa ding magbabago ha?" ... "friends pa din tayo ha".. and told her, oo naman... but my mind wasnt there really... gusto ko na lang masolo at makausap si girlfriend.

tuloy  ang inuman... then dumating na si lui (yung inaantay nila)...

then the girlfriend went upstairs...

after a while, tinawag ako, in her .. i dunno if pagalit voice.... 

at the stairs going to 2nd floor, i saw lights going to 3rd floor/rooftop... (paliko so you gonna wonder where the lights are coming from)

she then smiled... and the gesture of her hand told me to continue,..

i was speechless...

and surprised...

each steps of the stairs, was candlelit in both ends...

puno ng scattered petal of white flowers...

and lil notes ng spelled I LOVE YOU, which i have to pick up as i step up...

and those notes, got quotes by the way, few of her favorites maybe. :)

pagtapak ko ng 3rd floor, napamura na lang ako sa isip ko (DAMN!).. haha

nakaset up anng table with wine on the top of it, and wine glass..  scattered flowers everywhere, dim lighted venue, pink curtains and ceiling, floating candles.and love songs as our background...

and oo nga pala, sa table, may personalized card for me, which made by her of course... and a letter... :)

sa sarili ko, chick ba ko ngayon? hahaha

i stared at her with the sweetest smile on my face.... 

wala lang, i smelled the surprise, but i wasnt sure kung ano... 

 when her song for me played, i just dunno what to react.. haha.

Kaya bago pa ko maging chick ng tuluyan, tumayo ako, went to her, kissed her, i said thank you and i love you... and hugged her... :)

that night was so kilig *pa'chick voice*

so there...

im keeping the video and the pictures..

ill upload it soon... mga next year. haha

____

Thank you girlfriend

I love love you.... :*

____

love, waidee