TOTGA

I was drunk and cried myself to sleep...
But that didnt... still... gave me the peaceful and deep slumber that i am wanting..
I smoked like a chimney..
With every puff that i take and every breath i released is as much as hurt inside me...
Rapid and incessantly...
I went to sleep.. woke up... but still wanting you...
My heart cries for you...
Yearning for you..
In silent...
In the dark...
I want you back...
Please let me have you back...
Its kinda pathetic really...
And then i realized...
I can still love you... without me telling you..
Or the whole world...
But right now.. i just want to sleep...
A lot of it...
Ive never given much of a choice in this matter.
I have to act normal... like nothing happened.
Just last week i was offered by my mom to go home and manage an offer that was hard to resist. I thought about it...
I was with her when mom called...
I was staring at her..
And everytime i stare at her theres a thought in my head that saying "i wanna be with her... she is the girl that i love"
I said its a good start...
I was about to do the biggest decision in my life... i did not tell cos i want to do it when its all done..
Cos words for me are sacred...
The situation is unsure but my feelings arent...
Finally.... i have her....
Finally... she made me live again...
But suddenly... we broke up...
And i know.. as long as im loving her...
As long as i have this feeling for her...
I know i will sleep and wake up and live everyday wanting her...
needing her...
missing her...
Loving her...
It hurts... hurts a lot..
Cos i know no matter what i do... none of my gestures will bring her back to me...
I will always love you pretty girl...
And i can say... like the song... you are my "the one that got away"...
__
09.18.2015