PLANAX... INOCELDA

my tito died...

and, sa pagkamatay niya,
naipakita ang madaming ugali ng mga kamag-anak....

may nbuong samahan,
at may mga gaps na namagitan...


i have this tita that they think is powerful...
she got the money, thats why....


and im weeping to see my mom na ginaganun ganun na lang nila...


looking back,
nung ok pa naman ang buhay,
naaalala ko pa,
lague sila sa hauz...

ngauN???
di man lang sila pumapasok dun..

ok lang yun,
pero sana wag sirain ang nanay ko..

my other titos and titas, parang linta,
pero ok lang un,
basta wala lang silang masamang sabihin samin..


I remember, few weeks after my tito died,
tatay ko ang lagueng andun for him....

siya ung tinatawagan..
when he gives money,
may kasamang sympathy and lungkot...

but my other tito??
i remember when he "gave" that 1thousand bill to my cousin,
he was furious...and angry...
nilapag sa lamesa, sabay alis...

tatay ko,
gamit ang luma naming tricycle,
xa ang nagddrive para mapachek-up si uncle...
humihiram ng jeep para lang mas comfortable...

humihingi pa siya ng pang-gasolina sa iba pa niyang kapatid
NGUNIT WALA
pero pagdating ng hapon, makikita mo,
nasa sugalan...


nung namatay si uncle,
naitsapwera na si papa....
dinadaan-daanan na lamang..
di na sinali sa mga plano...
di na kasali sa mga decisions...
ang masakit,
inuungkat ang mga bagay na kanilang
ini-exaggerate ....

and how i pity my mom for that...

nabulag na ang ibang kapatid sa mabulaklak na bunganga ng iba..

naghari ang di mga kadugo...

ang masaklap,
ang asawa ni uncle,
inusumbong pa si papa sa aming "powerful" auntie....

buti na lang, andiyan pa ung ibang maituturing pa ring kamag-anak..

sa araw ng libing,
kompleto sila,
ngunit di ko man lang naantay ang gusto kong sandali..
ang mag-usap-usap kaming lahat...

pero pagdating pala ng gabi,
nag-usap-usap pala sila...

ngunit di na kasama ang iba dahil wala namang silang pasabi.....

pero punyeta, sabi ba naman daw, kung wala daw ung iba na maitulong,
eh di sila na lang daw na nandun.....

TANGNA TALAGA NOH??????
panung andun ang iba, eh wala nga silang sinabi...


ayaw magsalita ni papa,
bat ganun?
maxado na siyang mabait...

ako, nagtitimpi lang, pero malapit na kong mapuno...


pero eto ha....
ako magsasabi kung ayaw sabihin ni papa senyu...


1. Si papa ang lagueng andun nung maysakit pa si tito..
oo wala kaming pera, pero andun ang pagkalinga....

2. Si papa ay tumawag sa isang kamag-anak sa abroad.
At di katulad ng iba, hindi sa kamay niya dumiretso ang pera,
KUNDI SA ASAWA NIYA

3. HINDI NAMIN NILILISTA ANG KAHIT NA KALIIT-LIITANG detalye
ng kung anu mang nabili namin o nagastos namin para papalitan kay PA.
Dahil hindi ganun ang kamag-anak!!!!!

4. WALA mang maitulong ang ibang kapatid dahil walng pera,
may iba namang bagay na puwede nilang ittulong

subaybayan nyu na lang ang iba pa,
00wi na ko...

di man ako, kami nagsasalita,
maghintay lang kayu


-=----ako toh----=-

ABOUT MY POSTS

well yeah, mostly heartaches...
kasi ba naman, those happy times, wala ako time magsulat
kasi lahat ng time ko, naktuon sa kanila
hahaha
un....
mahilig ako sa love..
mahilig din akong mainlove...
pero, meron jang 1GREATLOVE (creampuff)
na hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit..
malandi ako, oo
flirt ako, affirmative...
mahilig ako sa babae, positive...
pero,
masarap magmahal.. hihi..
un un eh!!!

kayamanan ko mga anak ko..
kahit di ko sila kadugo..
kung alam lang nila kung ganu ko sila kamahal

eh un,..

sige, sa FS na lang ha
tsaka text2 na lang tau..


hehe

THOUSAND YEARS

Thousand Years

True love burns in a thousand years
it deserves an ocean of tears
The sun Haven't shine on me since you went away
I can't believe we will go astray
Love is ironic, life is unfair
You left me when I thought you will always be there
I won't let anyone to enter my life again
Because I know this pain will remain
My love for you won't run out of flame
though in my mind, i want to erase your name
Hatred is existing in my emotion
But my love for you is powerful like a potion
I'll just tolerate this pain and try to pretend
'coz whoever I'll meet, its still you till the end..
Thousand years is until my last breath

I will love you still even after death

---vhonskall---

"uhm... I don't really want to talk about this...
hurts still..."

Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave

UNABLE TO STAY, UNWILLING TO LEAVE

Can't be calm feels like a sinking titanic
I can't be so cool , I'm feeling so panicked
I wanna be with you but I cannot stay
Unwilling to go but I must go away
Feels like I'm sinking like Jack and Rose
Can't be calm, stop, think and pause
Baby, I'm running out of time
After this, you are no longer mine
Unable to stay, unwilling to leave
Without you, how I'm goin' to live
I hate it coz time moves too fast
I've loved too many, but will you be the last?
Having you in my life, I feel so lucky
Now i'm losing you, i'm so unhappy..
My heart's beating fast everytime I stare at the clock
I can hardly breath everytime it tick-tock
I'm leaving and you know i have enough reason
But without you, feels like i'm in a prison
Right now I should be loving you and I should give more
But I'll set you aside and this feeling I'll ignore
If I can give the world, you know I would give
I don't wanna go, but honey I should leave
I know you can't understand why I can't stay
You'll always be with me, that's all i can say..
Unwilling to go but unable to be beside you
What am I gonna do, I can't decide to
I love you and I know You Love me
And I'll always love you wherever I may be
I know that its not easy to escape
I won't show you my heart 'coz you know how it shape
You know who's inside and you know that it's you
I wanna hold you but I'm sorry I must go
I hate it, feels like I'm drowning
I don't wanna go, But I'm not staying
Can't decide, I'm caught in the middle
Can't think straight, feels like a riddle
What am I gonna do, I'm really not sure
This heartache, nobody can cure
What am I saying?
To you it's a puzzle..
It makes my body shiver and my muscles
Unable to stay, Unwilling to leave
It's a crossroad for me, which is the right way?
I don't want to go.. But sorry I cannot stay....

----vhonskall----


"I made this way back 2003...
i had temporary loves.. so...

about the title, i got tha idea from TITANIC's soundtrack..

hmm...."

I don't Love You Anymore

I Don't Love You Anymore

The feeling of nostalgia is not here anymore
Since you hurt my heart like you slammed a door
My love for you was baffled
by the pain you've caused
there's no room for you in my heart,
doors and windows were closed
You've fooled me once and more than twice
The flame of my love for you,
seared by your big lies
What you've said and what you've done
are all parts of your mockery
But I'm leavin' it all behind and now
you'll only be a part of my history..
I won't forget that once you're my tormentor,
Goodbye.... I don't love you anymore



----Vhonskal----

~You ArE to Me...~

You Are To Me...

You're like a star that I can't reach
But still there that shines me through...
You're more than an air that I breathe
'Coz life is not worthy living If I can't have you...
You're like the that so far away
Giving me warm in a cold day...
you're like the wind that I can't see
Touchin' me so gently like you're comforting me...
You're the moon that guiding my dark night
like a morning dew that freshen me up with the morning light..
You're my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
I'll trade a bunch of diamonds just to have you...
You are to me my everything
and I won't trade you into anything...
With you by my side, I can pass any strife,,,
You are to me my Life...


====vhonskall====